Page 7 - Payout Magazine Online Volume 10.02

Post-Event
Blues Are A
Real Thing
BY Lola Davina
The comedown after a trade show, awards
event or fun, community-building time with
your peers can be rough. Lola Davina has some
tips for dealing with post-event blues.
It’s that time of year again: January and the
season of adult industry events all over the US.
And while trade shows can be awesome ó a
time to see old friends and make new ones ó
we can experience a real drop-off once we get
home. If you’ve ever found yourself crashing
back to earth after a big social event, you’re not
alone. The post-event blues are a very real thing.
Psychologists have come up with several
fancy terms for this phenomenon: post-event
let-down, post-project depression (PPD) or
post-adrenaline blues. A friend of mine in the
movie business calls the inevitable crash once
a film has wrapped, after months of hectic
schedules and no sleep, ìpost-ëart’-umî ó a play
on ìpostpartum depression.î
Whatever you call it, it makes sense that if
you’ve been anticipating a special occasion
ó preparing to speaking in front of a group
or getting the chance to meet someone you
admire or wearing that smokin’ hot outfit you’ve
been planning for weeks (or months) ó you’ll be
revved up in the days and weeks beforehand.
Then, you might experience an adrenaline spike
during the event, followed by a bottoming out
afterwards. That low might be described as a
few days of low-level emptiness or apathy. Or, it
might blossom into a full-on sad spell.
Let’s take a look at some ways to care for
ourselves once we’ve gotten back to real life.
Short Term Self-Care
Realizing that both your brain and your body
have just been through a lot, as soon as you get
back home, take time to invest in the Three Rs:
rest, relaxation and routine. The kindest thing for ó whether we accomplished what we hoped.
your wired-tired body and brain are to get back
to the things that feel familiar and supportive:
regular healthy meals, moderate exercise and
plenty of sleep.
If your head is popping with all the
connections and opportunities the event
afforded, on the plane ride back or right before
bed soon after you’re home, make a list of all
the ways you want to follow up. Then, first
thing the next morning, break those into small
manageable tasks that you can tackle, perhaps
one per day. That way, you’re not faced with
changing your whole life right at once. Better
instead making the commitment to daily
progress one step at a time.
Last, if you’re experiencing feelings of
loneliness or letdown, make yourself a playlist
with songs inspired by the event. Music can
keep you in touch with your happy memories.
Increasing Satisfaction
The comedown after a trade show is also a
good time to identify what you enjoy most about
big events and to look for ways to get more of
whatever that is in your daily routine.
So, say what you love best is meeting
industry people or connecting with old friends.
Then, your goal throughout the year may be to
socialize more. Maybe it’s having the opportunity industry and author of Thriving in Sex Work:
to shine ó to dress up and strut or share your
expertise. I encourage you to find ways to put
yourself out there more by teaching classes,
or perhaps starting a reading circle or support
group. Boosting your satisfaction in real life
alleviates the pressure to get certain needs met
only through special occasions.
Managing Expectations
The biological component of an adrenaline
crash is important for understanding how we
react as we do after big events, but post-event
blues can also be a reaction to our expectations
Before a show, we might fantasize about making
a bunch of important connections, or sitting in
on every panel that relates to our business,
or saying something clever to someone we
admire. The reality might fall short of our hopes,
contributing to feelings of missed opportunities
and disappointment.
The key, in that case, is to manage realistic
expectations. There are only so many hours
in a day, and these events pull our attention in
every direction. It might be helpful, before you
set out to a trade show or right afterwards while
everything is still fresh in your mind, to jot down
a few notes about what your goals are for the
next event: ìNext year, I’m going to go, but do
less. I’ll do dinner and drinks with three sets of
people, and catch up with everyone else after
I get home.î Over time, by understanding your
limits, you’ll learn what a successful trade show
looks and feels like for you.
Just because the post-event blahs are
normal, it doesn’t mean they’re inevitable. After
the party’s over, basic self-care brings us back
to regular life.
Until next time, be sweet to yourself.
Lola D.
Lola Davina is a longtime veteran of the sex
Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex
Industry, a self-help book for sex workers
available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes
and wherever else ebooks are sold. Get the
audiobook version here. Contact Davina at Lola.
Davina@ynotcam.com and visit her on Twitter at
@Lola_Davina, as well as on Facebook.
Reprinted with permission from YNOT
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